Eric Clap-cunt

By UNCUNT staff

Eric Clapton murdered his own son just so he could write a song about it. Fact.

Ok, maybe not fact.

But it’s something that at least warrants further investigation. Because if anybody is capable of murdering his own son for money, it’s Clapton.

In fact, when Clapton found out Lory Del Santo was pregnant with Conor, their four year old son who died tragically in New York in 1991, he asked her to terminate the pregnancy. Via his manager. When she refused Clapton tried to hang himself from a tree. But failed. After the death of Conor, Del Santo said “I never saw Eric cry, but people grieve in different ways.” Clapton probably grieved with a fat line of cocaine and a bottle of whisky.

In 2004, he ceased playing Tears in Heaven at his live shows. When asked why he said “I didn’t feel the loss anymore. The feelings are gone and I really don’t want them to come back. My life is different now.” Cunt.

A lot of people have died after coming into contact with Clapton – his guitarist Duane Allman, bass player Carl Radle, Stevie Ray Vaughan (and two of his road crew whilst on tour with Clapton) not to mention Jimi Hendrix and Brian Jones. He probably murdered them all.

Born in Surrey (home to many a cunt), Clapton is undeniably one of the mid 20th century’s important musical figures. A peerless guitarist in the 60s his career elevated from John Mayall’s Bluesbreakers through The Yardbirds peaking with the supergroup Cream whose psychedelic rock blues style was revered by a generation and influential on many young musicians.

Throughout the 60s, Clapton repeatedly attempted to seduce and steal Pattie Boyd, the wife of his best friend George Harrison. After she knocked him back in the 60s he dated her sister for a couple of years just because she looked like Pattie. When she knocked him back again in the early 70s Clapton became a smackhead. On top of his cocaine habit and rampant alcoholism, you would imagine the smack would make him even more of a cunt. But in actuality it probably took the edge off him.

Finally, two decades on, after Boyd and Harrison’s marriage was over, Clapton moved in predatorily and married her. Later he wrote the song ‘Wonderful Tonight’ for her. It remains to this day, one of the cuntiest love songs of all time. Harrison wrote ‘Something’ for Boyd – one of the greatest love songs of all time. George wins, you lose Eric, you unbelievable cunt flap.

Midway through his marriage to Boyd in 1986, he had a child from an extra marital affair with Yvonne Kelly. He kept the child a secret from everybody including his wife for six years. If you haven’t recognised the pattern yet – Eric’s basically a cunt.

Musically Clapton’s career has produced some considerable turds. The self indulgence, the 12 minute guitar solos and the onstage posturing have all gotten out of hand. He’s worked with some massive cunts (Phil Collins, and Roger Waters for example) and recorded soul-destroyingly boring albums of cover versions. Yet his earlier career produced some gems. How? Well, mainly because Clapton stole the music of black America’s greatest blues artists; Robert Johnson, B.B King, Muddy Waters et al.

Taking this into account, as well as the massive worldwide hit he got from murdering another black artist’s song ‘I Shot the Sheriff’ by Bob Marley, you would have thought Clapton would owe a gratitude of debt to the black community? Apparently not. In 1976, at the very peak of his career Clapton took to the stage at the Birmingham Odeon and launched into an unbelievably racist tirade which can only really be fully appreciated by publishing it in its sickening entirety:

"I think we should vote for Enoch Powell. I think we should send them all back. Get the coons out. Keep Britain white. I used to be into dope, now I’m into racism. It’s much heavier, man. Fucking wogs, man. Fucking Saudis taking over London. Bastard wogs. Britain is becoming overcrowded and Enoch will stop it and send them all back. The black wogs and coons and Arabs and fucking Jamaicans and fucking (indecipherable) don’t belong here, we don’t want them here. This is England, this is a white country, we don’t want any black wogs and coons living here. We need to make clear to them they are not welcome. England is for white people, man. We are a white country. I don’t want fucking wogs living next to me with their standards. This is Great Britain, a white country, what is happening to us, for fuck's sake? We need to vote for Enoch Powell, he’s a great man, speaking truth. Vote for Enoch, he’s our man, he’s on our side, he’ll look after us. I want all of you here to vote for Enoch, support him, he’s on our side. Enoch for Prime Minister! Throw the wogs out! Keep Britain white!"

I’ve just turned on the Sky Arts channel and seen a documentary about Clapton (they can’t get enough of him on this channel). Clapton’s sitting in his vast country estate telling us about the influence of black artists on his career, about how he likes shooting and hunting animals with the Countryside Alliance and how turning to Christianity cured his addictions.

Oh Eric, you sad, confused, hypocritical cunt, why don’t you just fuck off and die?

There is no heaven, you child murderer.